Sunday, January 29, 2012
How to Bring Sexy Back In Your Marriage!
Whoo hoo! I know you all were sitting on the edge of your seats barely able to contain your excitement over this post!!! Or something like that!
Sometimes it's easy to get caught up with our kids and always taking care of everyones needs and then the important things get a back seat. A marriage needs nourishment. Embarrassing, but I'll share the things we do and then just hide behind anonymity
1) Most important, that's why it's #1, GIVE YOUR KIDS A BED TIME!!!! My kids have had a bed time since 6 months of age when I started doing a bed time routine with them. I know people that let their toddlers stay up to like 12 at night. Not here in this house. After 7:30 pm it's Mommy and Daddy time =) Seriously though, this is really important and it's never too late to start =) Even though our son doesn't sleep in a crib anymore, we still do the whole bed time routine with him at 7:30. He has a night light in his room and yes, of course he gets out of bed as soon as we shut the door. He plays with his dinosaurs until he's tired and then he crawls into bed. I have yet to find him asleep on the floor of his room =)
2) Schedule Date Night: I'm sure most of you are probably asking yourself what the heck that is ;) You don't have to have money or even a sitter to do date night! I plan ahead for my husbands days off. Once we put our kids to bed I pull out a yummy snack that I made earlier that day or we'll pop a bag of popcorn and pull out some ice cream, grab a big blanket, cuddle up and watch a movie together. We honestly never get tired of doing a movie because we get to cuddle. Sometimes we will play a game.
3) Going Out to Eat As a Family: Is it possible? Yes, it is.
A) You just have to pick somewhere noisy. Pick somewhere that no one will notice your son eating packet after packet of fry sauce, or your daughter throwing her fries on the floor once she's done eating. My husband and I have this awesome burger place (JCW's) that we go to that is always noisy and no one notices our kids. Or go somewhere where they have outside seating.
B) OR CALL AHEAD. Sometimes I enjoy going to Golden Chinese place so what I do is I call ahead and speak to a manger. I tell them we are coming in with two Autistic kiddos and would like to be put somewhere semi remote away from everyone else. I bring their sippy cups, wipes, bibs, crayons, books and a few toys in case they finish eating before we do and that does it!
C) OR pick up food and do a picnic outside! We do that a lot in the summer time. We pick a park that is away from traffic, has no water near by and nothing my daughter can jump off of and we eat outside. Usually I just make sandwiches and cut up watermelon, grab capri suns and a bag of chips and that's what we take for our picnic.
4) I wouldn't generally talk about something like this but it's kind of a big deal and remember, anonymity ;) SCHEDULE "SNUGGLE" TIME. It's so easy to get lost in all the things we do for our kids and the time we spend on them. You would think that being 27 and having 3 kids I would be more mature than to laugh each time my husband and I sit down and pull out the Calendar to schedule in our "snuggle" time but no. No, I'm not =) If it happens before the scheduled time, GREAT. If not then you have a set date and time! I know it sounds funny but it's important to schedule that in once a week or once every two weeks...ladies don't let your man die!, at the very LEAST once a month. Actually write it on the calendar (and disguise label it like "ice cream for mom and dad" it could save you from a potentially embarrassing moment if company comes and sees your calendar =) and treat it as an un moveable commitment which means you can't say you're tired or have a headache! 1) It keeps you close to each other 2) Reminds you both how much you love one another and keeps that connection strong 3) It can very well be a stress reliever. If you have Teenagers with Autism-plan for that. Make sure they are in bed/door is closed, have a lock on your bedroom door...you get it =)
5) Go on a drive together. My kids love to go on drives with the windows rolled down and we even take our chiweenie. It also gives my husband and I time to talk AND gets us all out of the house which is always nice.
6) There's no reason you can't stick to a healthy diet. After my kids go to bed my husband watches the baby for a bit while I prepare my meals and snacks for the next day. This way I can quickly grab healthy stuff that I put together the night before. I always have raw veggies and fresh fruits available for my grabbing instead of grabbing chips or a donut. I try to not bring those things into my home because they are so (yummy ;) easy to grab instead of something healthy. You eat healthy, you feel good =)
7) There's no reason you can't look cute while chasing your screaming kids around the house all day =) You don't need 2 hours to get ready. Look, here's a link for 7 no heat cute hair styles:
7 Cute No Heat Hair Styles
and below is the link that I use. I do this hair style on days my husband works and he's not home to watch the kids while I get ready.
Ashlie's Favorite, Cute, Easy, No Heat, Do-right-out-of the-shower-do! Thank you Pinterest! =)
8) Do you need a tan and don't want to get skin cancer or spend money? Well here's the solution! Malibu Hemp Self Tanning Lotion (@ Walmart) Ta Dah!! Insta Tan! I use this and love it. And no, it doesn't turn you Orange.
9) Victoria's Secret has AMAZING body lotion for $9 dollars a bottle. I always feel great when I smell good =) With your great smell, your tan and cute hair throw on a little lip gloss and mascara and you go rock those Yoga Pants girls! =)
10) Exercise. It's such a great thing. For me it's the ultimate stress reliever. When my husband is off, he will watch the kids for me for two hours while I go run my brains out. I do anywhere between 5 and 8 miles. But that's my enjoyment. For you it doesn't have to be running. Go for a walk around the block and get some fresh air =)
11) Take a few hours off. Is that possible? Yes. Yes it is. We sat down and on our calendar we EACH picked one day out of EVERY week where we get to leave the house (or hide in the bedroom) for 4 hours while the other stays home and holds the fort down =) This is a TREMENDOUS relief and something I look forward to every week because I KNOW I'm going to get that peaceful break. I use it to take a nap, or dye my hair and do my toenails. I'll make a project for the kids or whither away on Pinterest =) It doesn't matter, it's MY 4 hours.
When it comes down to it, if you feel cute and refreshed, you will feel better and happier.
For Those of You That Are LDS:
A few things to add to this list:
1) Always try to get a quick scripture in during the morning. I have the books with daily scriptures that I find quick and convenient. It can really make a long day better =)
2) Schedule in a Temple Day for you AND your husband once a month. Find someone from church or a member of your family. I have found that when people know your situation they are more than willing to help especially if it's only one day out of the month. This is probably the most important thing on this entire list =) It serves as a great reminder of the wonderful promises you made to each other when you married. Mark it on your Calendar and treat it like a commitment.
3) Take some time to read the Ensign Magazine with your husband. This is usually how we start off our date night. My husband and I will sit and read an article from it or we'll read a chapter from an LDS marriage/family book. We use to teach a marriage class at church so we have plenty of books on the subject with great stories from Church Leaders =)
To Everyone: I promise it's not impossible to do all of these things. It sounds like a lot but it's really not once you get into the habit.